First, let me start by saying how humbled and grateful I am to everyone who read my first entry.  I must also send a very special “thank you” to everyone who took the time to comment, send me a message, or share it on your Facebook pages.  The outpouring of love was unexpected but extremely encouraging, and for that I couldn’t be more appreciative.  There are a lot of thoughts that go through your mind before you air your dirty laundry for the world to see, but you all made it much more bearable, a little less embarrassing, and gave me confirmation that it’s definitely time to start this blog.

So what can I say? I’m excited.  I’m Terrified.  But God willing, I’m ready.

Before I continue to unravel the pages of my life and what I’ve learned from my experiences, I want to take a second to talk about what this blog is NOT going to be.  There’s no need for me to explain what it is, because that will reveal itself over time (if you stay with me), but it’s important to me that I set the right expectation from the beginning.  So here goes:

This blog is not/will not be:

• Diary of a Mad Black Woman
  • I’m not angry. I don’t hate men and I do believe there are good men left.  Most importantly, I’m not mad at my ex.  The primary reason I’m even ready to start this blog is because I’ve had the opportunity to heal, grow, and move on from my past experiences.  Yes, my entries will contain information about my ex, because let’s face it, there’s no way around that, but my intention is not to make him look like a villain and make me look like a victim.  My intention is to show what I’ve learned through it all in hopes that someone experiencing the same thing can learn their lesson quicker than I did.  Or better yet, help someone see the warning signs before heading down that road at all.  Truth be told, I contributed to the dysfunction of my last relationship (I’ll explain how) and am fully to blame for how long I allowed myself to stay in a bad place, so it’s also about how I learned to take ownership of my own decisions.

• This isn’t a bedtime story
  • The words you read are not going to be romanticized or fantasized tales that I come up with in my head. These are my real life experiences.  My purpose is to be as transparent as possible and that requires total honesty.  It requires vulnerability (that hopefully God will give me the strength to show) and truthfully I feel you guys will be able to see right through me if I start to muddy the water with lies.  Besides, I got enough dishonesty in my last relationship; I wouldn’t dare continue that cycle with the relationship I’m about to build with all of you (ok, maybe that was petty).

• I am an imperfect Christian
  • I adore Jesus Christ from the bottom of my heart and you will hear a lot about that. I will be unapologetic about it and my entries are sure to be filled with scriptural references and spiritual discoveries I’ve made along my journey.  If you don’t want to read about that then this probably is not the blog for you.  I will not compromise my beliefs to make anyone else feel comfortable, and I refuse to take God’s credit by acting like I brought myself through all of my situations.  However, I will not paint myself as a faultless person. I mess up. A LOT.  I wish I could say that all of my mess ups were before I got saved, but that would be a lie (and I already told ya’ll how I feel about lies), but I believe that true healing and freedom comes from acknowledging where you went wrong and then taking the steps to move forward in the right direction.  So understand that there will be some hypocrisy in the way I used to behave versus by Christian beliefs, but “living right” is a daily challenge, and although I recognize I’m not where I used to be, I’m still not completely where I need to be.  So basically what I’m saying is, please don’t be too judgmental.

Well, that’s everything my blog isn’t.  If you’re expecting any of those things, then maybe our journey together stops here, because I can’t provide that, but for those of you who will stick with me on this ride; I hope you find it enlightening, helpful, useful, and (I guess) entertaining.  Honestly, I have no clue what I’m going to write about…I just pray God guides my pen.